"I’m telling you, it’s over," Phoebe announced, her voice trembling with betrayal. "We are no longer on speaking terms."

"It’s not just a spread, Ross! It’s a conspiracy of the earth!" Phoebe stood up, pacing. "Think about it. It sticks to the roof of your mouth so you can’t scream for help. It’s the silence of the nuts!"

"We have to tell her," Monica whispered harshly to Chandler behind a muffin.

The gang was gathered at Central Perk, but the usual cozy vibe was replaced by a thick, palpable tension. Phoebe was staring down a jar of organic peanut butter on the coffee table as if it were a sentient villain.

"You and the peanut butter?" Joey asked, reaching for the jar. "Because if you’re done, I’m just starting. We’re in the honeymoon phase."

"Tell her what? That we murdered her spoon with the very substance she currently believes is an agent of evil?" Chandler hissed back. "We’ll be next! She’ll think we’re 'sticky' too!"